8 WAYS TO HAVE A BETTER CONVERSATION

hy readers.......... Annyoeng haseyo, 😉😃

2 last years ago we have public speaking class, and the final tests that we should speech in front of the class. Then I try to find speech from Ted.com, I take a note(summary) the script while listening. I don't take note all the speech script, but I wrote what I've listen. The important point only.  

hopefully usefull for you guys.........!

happy reading 😊 

ted summary from Ted.com by Celeste Headlee. 

actually there are 10 rules on video, but I choose 8 important point only. 

8 WAYS TO HAVE A BETTER CONVERSATION

You know  this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's not normal. 

We're less likely to compromise,which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other. A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.

Now, I make my living talking to people. . I talk to people that I like. I talk to people that I don't like. I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level. But I still have a great conversation with them. So I'd like to teach you how to talk and how to listen.

There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention.  So, I'm going to teach you how to interview people, and that's actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists.

I have 8 basic rules. I'm going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations. 

Number one: Don't multi task. And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand. I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don't think about what you gonna doing at home. Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.

Number two: Use open-ended questions. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out.  Try asking them things like, "What was that like?" "How did that feel?" Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much more interesting response.

Number three: Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. 

Number four: If you don't know, say that you don't know.  Do that. Err on the side of caution. Talk should not be cheap.

Number five: Try not to repeat yourself.   it's really boring, and we tend to do it a lot.  we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don't do that.

Number six: Stay out of the weeds. Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind. They don't care. What they care about is you. They care about what you're like, what you have in common. So forget the details. Leave them out.

Number seven : This is the most important rules.  Listen. I cannot tell you how many  people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skillthat you could develop. Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing, "If your mouth is open, you're not learning.  Why do we not listen to each other? Number one, we'd rather talk. When I'm talking, I'm in control. I don't have to hear anything I'm not interested in. I'm the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity. But there's another reason: We get distracted. 

You have to listen to one another. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully. He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply."

One more rule, number eight, and it's this one: Be brief.

[A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.

And I  assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing about them. And honestly, I think it's what makes me a better host. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.

You do the same thing. Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepare to be amazing.Number one: Don't multitask. And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand. I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don't think about what you gonna doing at home. Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.

Number two: Use open-ended questions. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out.  Try asking them things like, "What was that like?" "How did that feel?" Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you're going to get a much more interesting response.

Number three: Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. 

Number four: If you don't know, say that you don't know.  Do that. Err on the side of caution. Talk should not be cheap.

Number five: Try not to repeat yourself.   it's really boring, and we tend to do it a lot.  we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don't do that.

Number six: Stay out of the weeds. Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind. They don't care. What they care about is you. They care about what you're like, what you have in common. So forget the details. Leave them out.

Number seven : This is the most important rules.  Listen. I cannot tell you how many  people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skillthat you could develop. Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing, "If your mouth is open, you're not learning.  Why do we not listen to each other? Number one, we'd rather talk. When I'm talking, I'm in control. I don't have to hear anything I'm not interested in. I'm the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity. But there's another reason: We get distracted. 

You have to listen to one another. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully. He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply."

One more rule, number eight, and it's this one: Be brief.

[A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.

And I  assuming everyone has some hidden, amazing thing about them. And honestly, I think it's what makes me a better host. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.

You do the same thing. Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and, most importantly, be prepare to be amazing.

have a nice day everyone............!!!